Call Service Log: Administrator Last Chance Helpline
Desperate admins call for desperate measures.
12.12.19 7:03 caller#6175489346
REPRESENTATIVE: Good morning, you've reached the 24/7 Administrator Last Chance Helpline. My name is Christine. How can I help you?
CALLER: Hi, so, my boss won't update his phone but he also wants me to make his apps work.
REPRESENTATIVE: Do you have access to his phone?
CALLER: No ma'am.
REPRESENTATIVE: You will soon.
CALLER: I'm not sure I understand -
REPRESENTATIVE: You will soon.
12.12.19 9:47 caller#6254869157
CALLER: Hi, I have a request to print an audio interview.
REPRESENTATIVE: Are you familiar with morse code?
12.12.19 10:13 caller#9453821484
CALLER: Hello. I'm trying to book my boss a ticket on a full flight.
REPRESENTATIVE: Will they be flying first or business class?
CALLER: They prefer business.
REPRESENTATIVE: Understood. Give me one moment...please hold.
CALLER: Of course
REPRESENTATIVE: Would they prefer a window or aisle seat?
CALLER: Aisle, definitely.
REPRESENTATIVE: That will be more difficult.
CALLER: We're prepared to pay.
REPRESENTATIVE: Wonderful. The passenger in 2C will suffer an accident within 24 hours. Can I do anything else for you today?
CALLER: No, thank you. Have a nice day.
REPRESENTATIVE: You as well.
12.12.19 12:01 call#3512648513
CALLER: My supervisor has informed me that she needs to attend five one-hour meetings in a span of three and a half hours.
REPRESENTATIVE: Ok sir, I can help you with that. Do you have any previous experience bending laws of time and space?
CALLER: Yes, I was a previous employee of Amazon.
REPRESENTATIVE: Excellent. You will receive a package with all the necessary materials on your desk tomorrow morning.
CALLER: ...via Amazon?
REPRESENTATIVE: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
12.12.19 13:26 call#5641283459
CALLER: Hello! The head of my department needs a new computer but he doesn't want to use his funds to purchase it. He would prefer I build one from scratch.
REPRESENTATIVE: I'm going to transfer you over to our Limited Resources department. They will help you find a spare machine nobody is using from your office and give it a good shine. Nobody will ever know.
CALLER: Thank you so much.
12.12.19 14:52 call#153248555
CALLER: HELLO. THE FIRE ALARMS ARE GOING OFF IN OUR BUILDING AND WE ARE TRYING TO HOLD A VERY IMPORTANT PANEL. CAN YOU ASSIST?
REPRESENTATIVE: I can help with that -
CALLER: CAN YOU SPEAK UP?
REPRESENTATIVE: YES MA'AM. IS THERE A FIRE PRESENT?
CALLER: YES, BUT THAT'S NOT WHY I'M CALLING.
REPRESENTATIVE: ARE YOU ABLE TO EVACUATE?
CALLER: NO, THE PANELISTS HAVE NOT STOPPED TALKING.
REPRESENTATIVE: UNDERSTOOD. SENDING EMERGENCY ASSISTANCE IN THE FORM OF A LOUDER SOUNDSYSTEM.
12.12.19 15:11 call#1542639568
CALLER: I'm supposed to order catering for an event, but due to dietary restrictions and limited vendors we're allowed to use, the only safe food I can find to purchase is oatmeal.
REPRESENTATIVE: Ok sir, I can help you with that. I'm going to transfer you over to our Innocuous Food Experts.
CALLER: Thank you so so much.
12.12.19 14:45 call#5526149566
CALLER: My boss is hoping to combine the holidays into one 24-hour period so that we won't have to pay our workers overtime. Is there a way to rearrange all winter holidays to the same date this year?
REPRESENTATIVE: Have you considered converting everyone in your office to the same faith so that you only have to accommodate one holiday?
CALLER: My boss suggested that, but it still leaves New Year's Day.
REPRESENTATIVE: We often suggest that you run your office calendar on a financial year cycle instead to avoid the holiday clump.
CALLER: I can't believe I didn't think of that.
REPRESENTATIVE: That's what we're here for, sir.